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Resources

This area is under construction- watch for more materials soon!!

Healthy and Unhealthy Thinking

This attachment includes some brief descriptions and definitions of common errors in thinking (A.K.A. cognitive disortions) that readers may use to generally memorize. Memorizing these tendencies can help us initially engage unhelpful thoughts, so that we can investigate them and the underlying feelings further. As we learn to label our thoughts we can begin to tame our thoughts, engage the best part of our critical thinking mind and avoid common problems like panic and failures in logic.

Communication: Reflective Listening Exercises

Attachment one includes general guidelines and recommendations for a reflective listening structure that is great practice and a continuous communication discipline for ongoing use. The second attachment is an alternate, similar version by Harville Hendrix called the "Imago Dialogue." Essentially, these practices will help avoid escalation and improve intimacy, empathy and compassion if used properly. The focus is on helping you understand your partner and to show interest, versus "arguing to be understood", which does not work.

Karpman Drama Triangle

The attachment includes a diagram of an emotion and communication process often present in unhealthy relationships or thought processes, wherein there is a perceived "victim", perceived "persecutor" or "villain", and perceived "rescuer". Triangulation is similar to gossip, in that communication about the perceived problem is indirect and styled like gossip. The victim perception is often frustrating for those being vilified and often by rescuers. There are strategies to de-triangulate, but all of those strategies involve direct and open communication between all parties, insist on selflessness and a non-blaming orientation. Taking responsibility for what each person can is essentially key to resuming healthy, honest, reasonable, and useful communication. Unhealthy communication can be called "whining" or "scapegoating", depending upon the specific context and the intentions of the perceived victim. 

Values Questionnaire

This includes a "conversation starter" or "food-for-thought" exploration exercise related to different values. It seems to help users articulate values and begin to think about them hierarchically. This type of exercise can be very beneficial for family members to begin to establish the fundamentally-important shared vision, learn to appreciate differences, learn to love through flexibility, and to work together.

Men, Emotions, and Relationships: "Wild at Heart" Video Series (John Eldredge)

This is a link to a 6-part video series produced by John Eldredge and is a very useful resource toward beginning an exploration of the true masculine heart. I recommend it for any man seeking to understand himself and his relationships or for any family member. This can be an especially useful tool in couples counseling, as couples seek to know and understand each other more deeply. Find it here: 
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https://youtu.be/HWXV7YUe5eA?si=0lqCM5xG1jzlc5Gb
Communication and Relationships
Emotions and Mindfulness
Values, intentionality, morality and virue (applied rules-based living)
Marriage and Family
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© 2017 by Family Strategies Counseling and Coaching. 

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